I know what I’m thinking, I know how love matters to me, I know my feelings thoroughly towards the one I love, it’s not that I’m scared of being hurt or get committed, I’m just not motivated to make that change yet (maybe just maybe one do need to get desperate to fall in love), the change that I thought will influence some big chunk of my life, it is indeed a big change for me(maybe I overthink the huge_ness of love)…(especially as you love someone, you no longer take full control of yourself, you’re sharing your remote control with someone else vice versa. When she’s emotionally disturbed, you’ll be influenced as well as you love her and care bout her, and most of all it’s because you seem like being a part of her ady, you can’t help it.
Maybe that’s why marriage in christianity means a male and a female love each other and 2 became 1 eventually, as you swear for the one time only in life, to GOD, that you’ll love her as much as yourself/even more, because she’s in you and you’re in her, spiritually unseperatable, neither physically nor mentally, but SPIRITUALLY!)…and how sometimes I wish I could dug a hole and buried my head into the earth like an ostrich. Wheewww…
Next phase of life
11 months ago