Bullshit? Just wait and see...

Recently found myself starting to get talkative in class, and some of my classmates are saying I've split characteristics while gossiping dogshit about me...well, it takes time, a long time indeed from last november till most recently, to get into the mixture, I mean, to really talk something (in an acceptable flow) my mind tells me, it's most probably the English problem, actually. So, there's a christian girl, my classmate, nice, decent, great charisma, a rare species (for me ONLY, coz everybody's got diff taste) to find in this kinda era, but there's two big words: NON AVAILABLE written on her forehead, so for me, SERIOUSLY, that's the end of the story for the possibility of developing into a relationship, coz "Every nice girl in this world's been occupied, when you see one, you have to either snatch it or forget about it while hiding in one corner licking your wound pathetically" (it's one of my classmate's philosophy!) is never evA, gonna be my philosophy, I'll SCREW that straight away. And when I was explaining this, some people, particular some of my best friends said that I'm BULLSHITING, Oh that hurts! It means I'm just pretending I'm holy and nice and something like that. I'm who I'm and I don't pretend. Yes, I admit I'm quite close to her recently, but I'm close to the other Christian Indian as well, and what do say about that? Yes, we share our thoughts sometimes because I thought we're on the same page, sometimes ONLY, and we're never close to the extent that we're sharing everything or touching/poking each other physically like some of those in our class despite huge age diff. It's simply normal friends, with the potential to be good friends as I've put my friends' version's faith and feelings into it. Friendship within the border is acceptable and continuable as long as I have no stupid, out of my mind intentions, right? Here, I screw you one more time. And sometimes, like this occassion, the friendship distance between us is the most beautiful distance, and I'm grateful of that. There's possibility that I might be the better guy like some of you said, and in which I'm self confident enough to say that also, but, someone better in overall doesn't mean he's good enough to excel when it comes to LOVE also (even the smartest ass Einstein or Edisson I can't really remember, fail in his marriage OK? And I'm still a virgin in LOVE). A girl can be happier with someone you think is no better than you, because it doesn't matter how much LOVE you can give, it's...what love you can give according to her appetite.(This is MY philosophy, no copycats pls!) Ok, even if majority assume that I can 99.99% give her more quality love and what love she wants, I myself won't let her take that risk. NEVER gamble your current relationship which you're confident that it'll work out (that's my philosophy too). As what I've known, this LOVE thing is never gonna be 100% guarantee. To be honest, seriously, I'm happy for her, happy to see one of my close friends (I actually find it hard to find real friends in KL...) bathing in great happiness, my happiness in seeing her happiness OVERWHELMS the happiness of (couple) relationship we can possibly develop. YES, it may sound bullshit, BULLSHIT, but my Father in Heaven knows me more than anyone else, and time will judge my personality, my characteristics, my philosophy.